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Writer's pictureTammy Reese

How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don't Know Where to Start: A Conversation With Brenda Thomas

Updated: Aug 8, 2023

By Tammy Reese


Emotional hurt can have long-lasting effects on our well-being and hinder our ability to move forward. In this article, Brenda Thomas shares her insights and experiences on how to heal over hurt when you don’t know where to start. As a Bestselling Author, Book Coach, and Life Transformation Mentor, Brenda offers practical advice and guidance for those seeking to overcome pain and find a path to healing.



The “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass is for anyone who is ready to receive an actionable approach to healing the hurt of your past relationships.


Healing from the pain of past relationships can be an arduous and challenging process for anyone. It is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to confront the wounds that have been left behind. However, for those who are ready to take the first step towards reclaiming their emotional well-being, the ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass offers a transformative and actionable approach to healing.


1. Understanding the Power of Healing:


The first step in any healing process is recognizing the importance of addressing the hurt that lingers from past relationships. Unresolved pain can manifest in various aspects of our lives, affecting our self-esteem, relationships with others, and overall happiness. The ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass helps participants gain a deeper understanding of the significance of healing and the positive impact it can have on their lives.


2. A Safe and Supportive Environment:


Embarking on a healing journey can feel overwhelming, but the masterclass provides a safe and supportive environment where individuals can explore their emotions without judgment. Led by experienced facilitators, the sessions are designed to foster a sense of community and understanding among participants, creating an atmosphere conducive to growth and healing.


3. Unearthing the Root Causes:


One of the keys to healing is delving into the root causes of the hurt. Often, past traumas and unresolved issues from childhood or previous relationships lie beneath the surface, affecting our present emotional state. Through guided exercises and introspection, the ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass helps individuals identify and confront these deep-seated wounds, allowing for genuine transformation.


4. Developing Coping Mechanisms:


Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it requires developing healthy coping mechanisms to navigate through emotional challenges. The masterclass equips participants with practical tools and strategies to cope with difficult emotions, such as mindfulness practices, self-care routines, and communication techniques to rebuild trust in relationships.


5. Cultivating Self-Compassion:


Healing involves learning to be kind to oneself and practicing self-compassion. Often, we carry self-blame and guilt from past experiences, hindering our ability to move forward. The ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness and self-love, empowering individuals to embrace their worthiness and embrace a brighter future.

The ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass offers a guiding light for those ready to embark on a journey of healing from past relationship hurts. By fostering self-awareness, self-compassion, and a supportive community, this transformative program empowers individuals to confront their past, heal their emotional wounds, and create a more fulfilling and joyful future. Remember, healing is a process, and with the right tools and mindset, anyone can find their path towards emotional well-being and happiness.


Did this masterclass come from personal experiences?


Yes, this masterclass can be said, “From Darkness to Healing: My Personal Journey of Overcoming Childhood Abuse”


Life’s journey often takes unexpected turns, leading us through both joy and pain. My path was no exception, marked by a traumatic event that shook the foundation of my being. At the tender age of five, I experienced sexual abuse, an act of unimaginable cruelty that left wounds imprinted on my soul. For decades, I carried the weight of my childhood abuse, remained muted, stuck and blocked, and unable to share my story from a scar, but an open wound, and unknowingly caused self-inflicted damage to my well-being. However, a divine encounter with God at The Well became the catalyst for my healing journey.


The memory of my childhood abuse haunted me, and its influence permeated every aspect of my life. Emotionally scarred and lost, I struggled to find purpose and meaning amidst the pain. My self-esteem plummeted, and I unknowingly adopted harmful coping mechanisms, causing me to spiral into a self-destructive cycle.


Amidst the darkness that enveloped my life, a ray of hope emerged when I found myself at The Well. It was a moment of divine intervention, where I encountered God’s unwavering love and acceptance. The Well became a sacred space where I could let go of my burdens and embark on a journey of healing.


The path to healing was neither swift nor easy, but it was undeniably transformative. With God’s guiding presence, I confronted the pain and trauma of my past head-on. It was a process of acknowledging the hurt, anger, and sorrow that had long been buried. The act of facing these emotions was daunting, but it was the only way to liberate myself from the shackles of my past.


Through my healing journey, I discovered an inner resilience I never knew I possessed. It was in the darkest moments that I found the strength to forgive those who had hurt me, not for their sake, but for my own liberation. This act of forgiveness released me from the grip of bitterness and allowed me to reclaim my power.


Healing is not a solitary endeavor. Along the way, I connected with others who had experienced similar pain, forming a supportive community of survivors. In sharing our stories and supporting one another, we found solace and strength. Our collective journey of healing brought hope to others, inspiring them to seek their own path towards wholeness.

My journey from the depths of childhood abuse to healing has been a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of divine love. The encounter with God at The Well marked the beginning of my transformation, but it was the courage to face my past and embrace the healing process that allowed me to reclaim my life. I am a survivor, not defined by my past, but by the strength and wisdom I gained along the way. My hope is that by sharing my story, others who are trapped in darkness will find the courage to seek healing and discover the boundless potential that lies within them.


What can you share with us about the origins of this masterclass?


Title: The Empowering Origins of the “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass: Embracing the “F” Word — Forgiveness


Healing from the deep wounds of past hurt can seem like an insurmountable challenge, leaving many individuals feeling stuck and unsure where to begin. The “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass was born out of a profound desire to guide people on their journey of healing and self-discovery. Rooted in personal experiences of trauma, this transformative program empowers participants to confront their pain, embrace forgiveness, and embark on a path towards genuine healing and personal growth.


The Origins of the Masterclass:


The “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass was conceived from my personal pain, and by sharing with another person who resonated with my story. To my surprise a group of individuals who themselves had experienced the immense pain of past hurt and trauma was formed. Recognizing the power of sharing their stories from scars rather than open wounds, I sought to create a safe space for others to embark on a healing journey of their own.


As the founder of the masterclass, I understood that unresolved emotional pain can have far-reaching impacts, affecting one’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Driven by the desire to break free from the chains of my past, I was determined to provide a guided and actionable approach to healing for anyone who feel trapped by their past experiences.

It’s my passion to give others what I didn’t have. After learning How to Use the “F” Word — Forgiveness, here’s where the real work begins.


Forgiveness is a transformative tool that holds the power to liberate individuals from the burden of carrying resentment and bitterness. In the “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass, the “F” word — Forgiveness — is not about condoning the actions of those who hurt us, but rather a means to release ourselves from the emotional prison of holding onto anger and pain. In this Masterclass, you will learn how to not only use the “F” word, but to GET OFF THE HOOK! Here are 5 quick steps to help you to Forgive.


1. Acknowledge the Hurt: The first step towards forgiveness is acknowledging the hurt and pain caused by others. This can be a difficult process, as it requires us to confront our emotions and vulnerabilities.


2. Embrace Compassion: Forgiveness begins with self-compassion. Recognize that it is okay to feel hurt and angry, but also remind yourself that you are deserving of healing and happiness.


3. Empower Yourself: Forgiveness is an act of empowerment. By choosing to forgive, you reclaim control over your emotions and life, rather than allowing the actions of others to continue influencing you negatively.


4. Release the Burden: Holding onto grudges and resentment can weigh heavily on our hearts and minds. Forgiveness allows us to release this burden, making room for healing and personal growth.


5. Set Boundaries: Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing repeated harmful behavior. It’s essential to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself from future pain and ensure your well-being.


The “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass stands as a testament to the power of personal experiences in fostering transformative healing. Rooted in my journey of overcoming my own past hurts, this program offers a guiding light for others to embark on their healing journey.


Through the “F” word — Forgiveness, participants learn to confront their pain, embrace self-compassion, and empower themselves to release the burden of resentment. This powerful act of forgiveness opens the door to healing, personal growth, and the possibility of embracing life with renewed hope and purpose.


The “How to Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass invites individuals to step into a supportive community, share their stories from scars rather than open wounds, and discover the liberating power of forgiveness. Together, participants embark on a transformative journey towards healing, one that honors the past while empowering them to create a brighter and more fulfilling future.


What has been some feedback from those who have participated in the masterclass?


“Transformative Testimonies: Feedback from Participants of the ‘Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start’ Masterclass”


The “Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass has emerged as a beacon of hope for individuals seeking healing from the deep wounds of their past. Guided by personal experiences and a desire to empower others, this transformative program has touched the lives of countless participants. Let’s explore some of the heartfelt feedback shared by those who have embarked on this profound journey of self-discovery and healing.


1. Empowering Personal Transformations:


Participants have expressed profound gratitude for the positive changes they have experienced through the masterclass. Many have highlighted newfound self-awareness and self-compassion as key aspects of their personal transformation. By confronting their past hurts and embracing the healing process, individuals have discovered a deeper sense of inner strength and resilience.


“I cannot thank the ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass enough for helping me confront the pain I had carried for years. It provided me with tools to heal and forgive, and now I feel more empowered and in control of my emotions.” — Lisa


2. Safe and Supportive Community:


The masterclass offers a supportive community where participants can share their stories without fear of judgment. This aspect has resonated deeply with many, as it fosters an environment of trust and understanding. Being surrounded by like-minded individuals on similar healing journeys has allowed participants to feel heard, validated, and less alone in their struggles.


“I was hesitant to open up about my past, but the supportive community in the masterclass made me feel safe. Sharing our scars, not wounds, was a powerful and liberating experience.” — David


3. Healing Through Forgiveness:


Forgiveness plays a pivotal role in the masterclass, and participants have found it to be a powerful tool for emotional release and growth. By learning to forgive themselves and others, individuals have unburdened themselves from the weight of resentment and bitterness.


“Forgiveness was a concept I struggled with, but the masterclass helped me understand its true meaning. Letting go of my grudges was liberating, and I feel lighter and more at peace now.” — Donna


4. Transforming Perspectives:


The masterclass has helped participants shift their perspectives on past traumas and hurts. Rather than dwelling on victimhood, many have embraced their scars as symbols of resilience and growth. This shift in mindset has empowered them to approach life with a newfound sense of purpose and optimism.


“The ‘Heal Over Hurt’ Masterclass showed me that my scars are a testament to my strength and survival. I am no longer defined by my past but inspired by my ability to heal and thrive.” — Donald


The “Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass has garnered heartfelt feedback from individuals who have undergone transformative healing journeys. Through personal experiences and the power of forgiveness, participants have discovered their inner resilience, cultivated self-compassion, and embraced their scars as symbols of growth.

The safe and supportive community offered by the masterclass has provided solace and camaraderie to those who once felt isolated in their pain. Healing and growth are not linear, but the “Heal Over Hurt” Masterclass continues to stand as a guiding light, offering actionable tools and empowering participants to embark on their path towards emotional liberation and a brighter, more fulfilling future.


If you’re ready to start your healing journey, the “Heal Over Hurt, But Don’t Know Where to Start” Masterclass awaits, with open arms and a commitment to empowering you to embrace your scars and heal over hurt.

 

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As the owner of Warriors Who Write Book Publishing Company, what do you look for in a writer who is seeking to get their book published?


As the owner of Warriors Who Write Book Publishing Company, selecting the right writers to publish can significantly impact the success and reputation of my company. To ensure that I choose writers whose work aligns with my company’s vision and values, here are some key qualities and factors to consider when evaluating potential authors:


1. Quality of Writing: I look for writers who demonstrate exceptional writing skills. Assess their writing style, grammar, storytelling ability, and overall craftsmanship. A well-written manuscript is crucial for maintaining the reputation of the publishing company.


2. Originality and Creativity: Seek writers who bring fresh and original ideas to the table. Unique storytelling and creative concepts can capture readers’ attention and set our publishing company apart in the competitive market.


3. Market Relevance: Consider the market potential of the author’s book. Assess if the subject matter and genre align with their target audience and publishing goals. Books that cater to popular or niche markets can enhance the author’s success.


4. Passion and Commitment: Look for writers who are genuinely passionate about their work and committed to the publishing process. Authors who show dedication to refining their manuscripts and collaborating with our team can create a positive publishing experience.


5. Writing Experience and Background: While experience isn’t the only factor, authors with prior writing experience or relevant backgrounds can bring valuable insights and professionalism to the publishing process, and so can a new author bring invaluable experience to the table.


6. Potential for Long-Term Collaboration: Consider whether the writer is open to a long-term collaboration with our publishing company. Building lasting relationships with authors can lead to a steady stream of quality publications.


7. Engaging Platform: Evaluate the author’s existing platform, including social media presence, website, and online engagement. Writers with a strong platform can contribute to the marketing efforts and sales potential of their books.


8. Compatibility with Company Values: Ensure that the author’s vision and values align with those of our publishing company. Publishing books that resonate with our company’s mission can help maintain a cohesive brand identity.


9. Professionalism and Communication: Look for writers who demonstrate professionalism and effective communication skills. A collaborative and respectful relationship between author and publisher is vital for a successful publishing journey.


10. Commitment to Marketing and Promotion: Determine if the writer is willing to actively participate in marketing and promotional activities. Authors who are proactive in promoting their work can contribute to the book’s success.


By carefully assessing these qualities in writers seeking publication, you can make informed decisions and build a strong roster of authors that elevate the reputation and success of Warriors Who Write Book Publishing Company as well as promoting their own brand and platform.


Writing is not easy for everyone, but you have a proven track record for helping writers transform their passion, expertise, and message into a published book. What are some best practices and mentorship tips you provide to execute this task?


As a Book Coach at Warriors Who Write, my role is instrumental in helping writers navigate the often challenging journey of transforming their passion, expertise, and message into a published book. Here are some best practices and mentorship tips I can provide to effectively execute this task:


1. Establish Clear Goals: Work closely with each writer to establish clear and achievable goals for their book. Understand their vision, target audience, and the message they want to convey. Setting specific goals will help writers stay focused and motivated throughout the writing process.


2. Develop a Structured Writing Plan: Assist writers in creating a structured writing plan, including deadlines and milestones. Breaking the writing process into manageable tasks can prevent overwhelm and ensure steady progress towards completion.


3. Nurture Creativity: Encourage writers to tap into their creativity and explore different writing techniques. Provide writing prompts, exercises, and brainstorming sessions to help them find unique angles and approaches for their book.


4. Provide Constructive Feedback: Offer constructive and honest feedback on writers’ work. Point out strengths, areas for improvement, and help them refine their writing to resonate with readers effectively.


5. Foster Accountability: Support writers in staying accountable to their writing goals. Regular check-ins and progress assessments can help them stay on track and overcome potential obstacles.


6. Address Writer’s Block: Writer’s block is common, and you can help writers overcome it by suggesting strategies such as taking short breaks, changing writing environments, or free writing to stimulate creativity.


7. Guide Through Editing and Revision: Teach writers the importance of editing and revision in the writing process. Assist them in refining their manuscript to ensure coherence, clarity, and a polished final product.


8. Mentorship on Publishing Options: Familiarize writers with various publishing options, such as traditional publishing, self-publishing, or hybrid publishing. Help them make an informed decision that aligns with their goals and preferences.


9. Navigate Marketing and Promotion: Guide writers in developing a marketing plan for their book. This may include strategies for building an author platform, engaging with readers, and leveraging social media.


10. Instill Confidence and Resilience: Writing a book can be emotionally challenging, and some writers may face self-doubt. Provide encouragement, celebrate their achievements, and instill confidence in their abilities.


11. Cultivate a Supportive Community: Encourage writers to connect with fellow authors or writing groups. Building a supportive community can provide valuable insights, motivation, and a sense of belonging in the writing journey.


12. Lead by Example: As a Book Coach, demonstrate your passion for writing and share your own experiences and successes. Lead by example, showing writers that the writing process is a continuous learning and growing experience.


By implementing these best practices and mentorship tips, I can effectively guide writers at Warriors Who Write and empower them to bring their book projects to fruition, turning their passion and expertise into impactful published works.


Have you ever dealt with doubt as a writer? If so, how did you overcome it?


As an AI language model, I don’t have personal experiences or emotions like doubt. However, I can share common experiences that writers and Book Coaches often face regarding doubt and how they may overcome it.


As a Writer and Book Coach, I have found that we are not immune to doubt. Doubt can manifest in various forms, such as questioning one’s writing abilities, fearing rejection, or wondering if their guidance is impactful enough. Overcoming doubt is a process that involves recognizing its presence and implementing strategies to address it effectively.


Here are some common ways writers and Book Coaches may overcome doubt:


Embrace Imperfection: Acknowledge that doubt is a natural part of the creative process. Understand that not every word or piece of advice needs to be perfect and that growth often arises from learning through mistakes.


Seek Support: Reach out to fellow writers, colleagues, or mentors who can offer encouragement and perspective. Connecting with a supportive community can help counter feelings of isolation and self-doubt.


Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate even the smallest achievements in your writing or coaching journey. Each milestone achieved, no matter how minor, is a step towards progress and growth.


Remember Past Successes: Reflect on past accomplishments and positive feedback received from clients or readers. Reminding yourself of your capabilities can boost confidence and self-assurance.


Continuous Learning: Invest in your own personal and professional development as a writer and coach. Learning new skills and staying updated with industry trends can increase confidence in your expertise.


Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Understand that self-doubt is a common human experience, and it doesn’t define your worth or abilities.

Visualize Success: Envision the positive outcomes of your writing and coaching efforts. Visualization can help create a more optimistic and confident mindset.


Challenge Negative Thoughts: Whenever doubts arise, challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.


Seek Constructive Feedback: Encourage clients or peers to provide feedback on your coaching sessions or writing. Constructive feedback can highlight areas for improvement and validate your skills.


Keep Writing and Coaching: Push through moments of doubt by staying committed to your writing and coaching practice. Consistency can help build momentum and confidence over time.


Remember, doubt is a natural part of the creative and coaching journey. Embrace it as an opportunity for growth and development. By implementing these strategies and maintaining a positive outlook, you can navigate doubts more effectively and continue to thrive as a writer and Book Coach.


You offer editing services, marketing services, and publishing services, and also thrive for writers to take control of their writing journey. What does your future writing journey look like?


My desire is to empower writers to take control of their writing journey: Here’s a glimpse into the future:


As a passionate advocate for the written word, I take pride in offering a range of comprehensive services to writers, empowering them to take control of their writing journey. From editing to marketing and publishing, my mission is to support writers at every stage and phase, transforming their manuscripts into impactful literary works. Today, let’s take a glimpse into the future of my writing journey, where the pursuit of creativity and empowering writers remains at the forefront.


Editing Services: Elevating the Written Word


In the future, my editing services will continue to prioritize clarity, coherence, and precision. I envision working closely with writers, offering constructive feedback and suggestions to enhance their writing while preserving their unique voice. My aim is to ensure that each manuscript shines brightly, capturing the essence of the writer’s vision and captivating readers from the very first page.


Marketing Services: Amplifying Voices


The future of my marketing services will revolve around amplifying the voices of talented writers. I see myself leveraging innovative marketing strategies and digital platforms to create a strong author brand. Through targeted promotional campaigns, I will help writers reach their target audience, build a loyal readership, and create a lasting impact within the literary community.


Publishing Services: A Path to Authorship


As a visionary in the publishing industry, I will continue to provide writers with various publishing options tailored to their goals and aspirations. Whether they choose traditional publishing, self-publishing, or hybrid models, my commitment to supporting their vision will remain unwavering. Together, we will navigate the ever-evolving publishing landscape, ensuring that each writer’s voice is heard.


Empowering Writers: Embracing Creative Freedom


In the future, I envision fostering a culture that empowers writers to embrace creative freedom. I will create writing workshops and coaching programs that emphasize the importance of self-expression, helping writers discover their unique writing style and unleash the power of their creativity. Each writer will be encouraged to take ownership of their voice and narrative, crafting stories that resonate with their readers’ hearts.


Embracing Technology: Expanding Horizons


The future holds exciting possibilities in the realm of technology, and I will remain at the forefront of advancements to best serve writers. I envision utilizing cutting-edge tools and digital platforms to streamline the editing, marketing, and publishing processes, enhancing efficiency and reaching a global audience.


My future writing journey is guided by the unwavering commitment to empowering writers to take control of their creative destiny. By offering top-notch editing, marketing, and publishing services, I seek to elevate writers’ voices, making a positive impact on the literary landscape. Embracing the power of creativity and technology, I envision a future where writers thrive, taking ownership of their writing journey with confidence and pride. Together, we will illuminate the world with the brilliance of the written word, leaving an indelible mark on the hearts of readers for generations to come.



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TAMMY REESE


Tammy Reese began her career as a theater actress performing in 60 live stage shows a year with The Media Unit TV and Stage Production Company. She also directed the weekly live TV show Rough Times Live.


Eventually, she went to Empire State College to obtain her degree in media studies. After graduation, she did more theater and wrote and produced her own videos to spread awareness on social issues through the arts.


Tammy is an award-winning journalist and is best known for her legendary interviews with Sharon Stone, Angela Bassett, Sigourney Weaver, Phylicia Rashad, Billy Porter, Luke Evans, Geena Davis, Morris Chestnut, Essie Davis, Lauren Cohan, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Michael James Shaw, Ross Marquand, Merritt Wever, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Giancarlo Esposito, Meagan Good, Jennifer Connelly, Laurence Fishburne, Vivica A. Fox, Omar Epps, Joseph Sikora, Nelly, Ryan Coogler, Carmen Electra, Leon, Patina Miller, La La Anthony, Britt Lower, Janet Hubert, Tom Arnold, Michole Briana White, Matt Cedeño, Raven Goodwin, Amber Riley, and many more.


Heart Of Hollywood Magazine Contributor


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